Relax… Nothing is Under Control

Have you ever thought about the idea that nothing is under your control? It really isn’t. Maybe you’re like me and try to plan, schedule, micro-manage, and arrange your life only to be shown again and again that things aren’t going to work out the way you thought. It is frustrating right?

It’s time to let go of control. Like The Beatles told us in 1969… “Let it Be.”

Lately I’ve been testing this concept out. My friend and I were planning our first workshop together. We had been advertising it for months. There didn’t seem to be any interest. Zero. No one had signed up. Two days before our event we weren’t sure if we were going to have the workshop or cancel it. It was an uncomfortable feeling for me. We both decided that we would “let it be” and if we were meant to have it enough people would show up. Lo and behold, at the last minute enough people signed up and we had a great workshop.

Control is rooted in fear. We try to control things because we are worried what could happen if we don’t. We believe everything would spin out of control. We assume there is only one right outcome– and that is the way we see it. Of course that’s wrong. Everything is not black and white. Life is shades of gray. So…

Let go of how you believe things have to work.

Being controlling is like paddling in a river upstream. It’s exhausting and requires lots of effort that ultimately gets you nowhere. A great question to ask yourself when you feel you are being controlling is: “Would it feel better to let go?” If the answer is yes, and it almost always is, then by all means surrender.

Surrender = Complete acceptance of what is + Faith that all is well. (even without my input.)

A mantra to say to yourself is helpful when you know you need to let go of control.
Here’s some good ones:

  • Let it go, it will work out.
  • Relax and be flexible.
  • It is what it is.
  • I accept the things I cannot change.
  • This too shall pass.
  • Just breathe.
  • I surrender.

Surrendering control to a higher power is a life lesson for all of us. In reality there are very few things we can control. And the more controlling we are the less joy we experience in life.

Much as we might like, we can’t control everything in life, all the people in it, and all the things that will happen to us. However, we can control how we choose to react. I invite you to surrender your control. Breathe easy and lay down your burdens. Let yourself and your loved ones make mistakes, stay out of things that aren’t your business, don’t micromanage anything. Let life happen and choose to flow with the current of the river.

In Light & Love,
Hilary

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