Want Some Inner Peace? Practice Compassion When You Are Mistreated
The Dali Lama says, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you
want to be happy, practice compassion.”
Practicing compassion is not always so easy. For example, I have no problem feeling
empathy for people who are suffering. I feel compassion for people in wars, the
poor, friends who are going through hard times, people who are physically ill, people
who have lost loved ones. But my challenge is feeling compassion for people who
mistreat me.
Am I supposed to feel compassion for the jerk who cut me off on the highway? Spiritually,
the answer is– yes. And am I supposed to feel compassion for a relative who is
never nice to me? Again, the answer is yes. And must I feel compassion for the salesperson
at the mall who gave me terrible service with a nasty attitude? Yes again.
People act mean-spirited because they don’t know any better. It is likely growing
up they were not raised with enough love and positive attention. Unless they have
spent some time as an adult getting counseling, and repairing their wounds, they
are still carrying anger every day. In other words, they probably take their anger
out on you.
While you can’t control how a person acts, you can control how you react to their
negativity.
Imagine that a salesperson is really nasty to you and instead of getting worked
up you answer her in a kind way, feeling empathy. She will be surprised by your
good nature and probably react a touch more human.
If a person sends out negative energy and you respond with positive– you change
the flow of communication. By you responding positively your body won’t take in
the negativity and you can remain in a good mood. However, if you take the negative
bait and get angry at the salesperson you are doomed. Maybe you got the result you
wanted– but what you will feel inside is unhappiness. Then you go about the rest
of your day in a bad mood. Maybe you take it out on your spouse or kids– all because
some salesperson was nasty. It’s not worth it.
Visualization is a powerful tool. The next time you are faced with someone seemingly
toxic — picture their negative emotion coming at you like a spray of bullets.
You can either allow yourself to get shot or put your bullet proof vest on and let
the negativity bounce off of you with your positive energy shield instead.
The Dali Lama says sending compassion to everyone makes them happy and you happy.
This is a call out to start feeling compassion for every single human being regardless
of their situation and demeanor. Ultimately happiness is what every human being
on this earth seeks.
I’m not so good at this spiritual lesson so let’s agree to work on this together.
Live in the light,
Hilary
